whatever, dude

lacrimalis:

catasters:

baby girl i could watch you sprawl liquidly down stairs in the sun all day

(Source: reddit.com, via sillyfxmme)

bermuda-n-drangle:

nightingalesoul:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

notwiselybuttoowell:

triviallytrue:

ghostpalmtechnique:

triviallytrue:

max1461:

triviallytrue:

friendshapedhole:

triviallytrue:

huffylemon:

aren’t gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn’t maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I’m fine, I wasn’t planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I’m confident I can stay out of the gorilla’s way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it’s all over.

It’s not just about the physical danger either, it’s about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he’s actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute “chimpanzee” for “gorilla” in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i’m taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I’m not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

(via anarcho-smarmyism)

chronicallyonlinesworld:

(via c3meterycat)

Anonymous asked:

oh I didn't realize you used to be a huge piece of shit

toskarin:

now this may surprise some of the audience, but the majority of humans have to survive a phase called “being a teenager” and the results are often catastrophic

randobambo:

quasi-normalcy:

quasi-normalcy:

Tragedy! You set out to read a negative review of a piece of media you dislike, only to find that the critic is being completely unfair to it and making a bunch of bad, unsupportable arguments.

#yeah. this is actually the worst#because if someone likes something for the wrong reasons and you like it too you can just sort of shrug off their opinion#but if they dislike it in a way that’s unfair it’s actually infuriating because now you’ve been put in the position#of defending this absolute dogshit piece of media - even if only in your own head - against their unreasonable complaints#it’s the exact opposite of catharsis

Me: “Disney live action remakes are soulless cash grabs that deny the original writers and artists the credit they deserve”
Some fucking chud: “Exactly! They never should have started wokeifying all their movies”
Me:

(via thebonbonika)

punkryuki:

punkitt-is-here:

this duck LOVES pink drink

(via oldstonermom80)

glossyfeathers:

While the CDC has given up on providing any guidance on risk control measures for covid, The People’s CDC is filling the gap and continuing to track and update guidance as the situation evolves. Here’s where you can download their Safer In-person Gatherings Toolkit:

Safer In-person Gatherings

Guidelines for keeping each other safer while gathering in-person during the ongoing COVID-19 Pandemic. As the holidays quickly approach, co

People's CDC

Here’s an extremely detailed guide on what to do if you have covid that includes how long to isolate for, how to set up your house with hepa filters and ventilation, what supplies to have on hand, when to go to the hospital, and guidelines on how to pace from the MEAction Network in the event you end up with long covid:

What to Do if You Have COVID

A guide for preparing for illness, preventing spread to others, managing symptoms, and recovery.

People's CDC

The work these guys are doing is amazing. They’re still tracking wastewater data too so you can still figure out transmission levels in your area and not just the hospitalization levels. Check them out!

(via thekingofcrochet)

spacelazarwolf:

spacelazarwolf:

anotherfagontheinternet:

protectcosette:

frawgs:

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

if you don’t know where to go, just wander! go to the store and don’t buy anything, go to the library just to sit and do whatever you were going to do at home, go to a park and just walk around/sit outside for a bit (weather permitting, of course)

just put some headphones in and walk around the block a couple times if you really have nothing else to do, just getting a bit of air and change of scenery is so good for you

me the first few weeks of forcing myself to go on daily walks (it gets better tho)

i really need tumblr to learn the concept of “if you physically cannot do this then this post is not talking about you” because jesus christ.

@a-spectacular-pigeon you get it.

(via usaigi)

How To Make a Child-Safe TikTok

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

wasserloewe:

catgirlwheels:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

so proud that the country-formerly-known-as-turkey really went and dropped its deadname on the first day of pride month. forget being an ally bitch you’re one of us

so proud of Türkiye for coming out on June 1st

to anyone coming in with “actually this country is bad because” I apologize for the actions of a conservative middle eastern government in a historically conflict-and-corruption-riddled region but you see this was a joke post. sadly Türkiye is not actually a transgender icon, I am not a Türkiye fangirl, I don’t actually think Türkiye is a uwu bastion of queer rights, this was you see a quick joke built upon the humorous coincidence that a whole-ass country changed its name on the first day of pride month. tragically there is no such thing (currently) as a transgender government or country, here’s hoping some day we can come together and change that

#people have gotten WAY too comfortable with chastising strangers for not presenting every facet of a nuanced situation

You’re right and you should say it

Y‘all I don’t know what you’re talking about the Wikipedia article says it right here, Türkiye 100% trans icon confirmed🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️ /j

took me a hot minute to remember it’s transcontinental

(via upallweek)

austimpowers:

(via hummingbird-hooligan)

sillyphantom:

bruh

(via anarcho-smarmyism)